I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
why is half of my head shaved?
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