i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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