its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Randomize
