I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
