If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
