That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
