Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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