I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
