Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
