Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
