i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
