she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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