I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
