HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
