i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
