Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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