3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
where are you?
Hypothermia
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
