i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
