Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
