I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
