Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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