What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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