This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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