i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
