I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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