Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I will be naked everywhere
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
