what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
