Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize