Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
