why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
