Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
