I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i think i just lost a toe
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
