I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
