I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We're too hungover to prance.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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