drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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