But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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