is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
