Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
