Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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