God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
