First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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