"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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