do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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