I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I want a musical about memes.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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