At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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