it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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