not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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