just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
