But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
