it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
