The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
