you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
