HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
