Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
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