my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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