The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
