Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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