Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
