She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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