farters have to be the big spoon...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
