Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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