Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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