we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
