i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
