I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
