I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
