Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
