Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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